Too much cake. Too much ice cream. Too many wrappers. Too many bows.

Like a little kid after a birthday party, I'm tired of watching others open gifts when I had none, and I'm tired of eating sweets when I didn't get to blow out the candles.

Like a little kid, I seem unable to reason. It's not that I have no gifts--just not these gifts. It's not that I don't like sweets, it's just that I feel full of them to the exclusion of the more substantial.

Like a little kid, I'm uncertain how to manage my confusion, my uncertainty, my desires. So I sulk. I stomp. I insult. I ignore. I demand. I cry.

Being selfish is agonizing, but then, so is surrendering.

I pick surrender.